Dracula's Castle

[Shish-kabob-Forrest]

Hay, Vlad, some things to remember about militaria:

* Weapon manufacturers are working on weapons to shoot around corners. Apparently they missed the fact that such weapon already exists and has proven it's self. It's called a grenade.

* Run from a sniper and you'll only die tired. Shoot at a sniper with a machine gun and you'll only die dumbfounded.

* Russian roulette doesn't work with semiautomatic handguns (at least one person failed to realize this)

* S&W 500s have allot of stopping power on BOTH ends of the barrel.

* The only thing more vicious then a SAW is a SAW in the hands of a woman with PMS.

* A server problem soldiers had in Viet Nam was having to change gun barrels. The rate was so high that they had to change them virtually every time they slept with a Vietnamese woman. Unfortunately, the gun barrels the soldiers carried were permanent and had to be replaced surgically.

* American Miranda goes like this: "you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you." This is how Russian Miranda goes: "PUFF!! BAP!!! BONK!!! POP!! BINK!!! BOP!!! BOOF!!"

* If your drill sergeant doesn't teach you to pay attention, the business end of your enemies Kalashnikove will.

* Wars are started by the bad guys and fought by the good guys.

* Aliens may be planning to invade, but if they are, they are waiting until we are done killing each other off so they can just walk on in to their new VACENT home.

* The best solution for dealing with North Korea is to pull our troops out of South Korea.

* Hitlers army was affective because he had big muscles. He lost the war because he had a small brain.

* In his deathbed, Tammerlane said that those who disturbed his tomb would face a terror much greater then he. In 1941, the Russians excavated his tomb. Shortly thereafter, Nazi Germany invaded.